Mine to Love, Not to Keep
Recently a friend marveled that I could let my daughter study abroad with the uncertainties in this world. I completely agree - her safety is extremely important to me. I love her. Do I worry that she’ll be in the wrong place at the wrong time? You bet. So, now what?
As I ran down the sidewalk holding the bicycle seat as my daughter learned to ride, I was reluctant to let go. If I let go, she might fall. She might get hurt. She might hit her head. Did I struggle to release my grip? Yep. However, I knew she couldn’t succeed until I did.
That tiny angelic face with the eyes that look like yours inspires you to love, teach and protect. No parent wants her child harmed, or to fail, or even to be devastatingly disappointed. From that very first day our family expanded to 3, learning to love, teach and protect without a tight grip has been a journey with constant lessons.
As parents, we want success for our children. How do we foster that success? First, I needed to be a successful parent. But, how? My learning was through connection with the souls gifted to me. With unconditional Love, I learned to look through their eyes to determine their interests and needs. A shift in perspective from “my” interests to “my child’s” interests was enough to actively notice what sparked her joy. Passion lights the eyes and fuels the heart. A deep interest stokes a life energy that clearly infuses your child’s actions. All I had to do was notice, then nurture. Keeping my opinions (mostly) to myself, I let each Little be the guide.
What if… each person were encouraged to be herself? Could you imagine a world filled with joyful people energized by their own passions? (Actually, take a moment.) What do we have to lose? Just some unreasonable limitations dictated by outdated social norms.
My idea of successful children has morphed from children being good at stuff to children appreciating their inner selves. Now, a child who likes herself, fosters her interests and truly connects with others in her life is the goal. As a bonus, I’m finding that nurturing her interests is leading to her being good at stuff too.
Let go of the bike, but not the Love. Then, appreciate her journey from alongside her.
