I’d like to share Sophie Doggie’s journey with you. I had not kept official records, since I had no idea where this journey was headed. 

On April Fool’s Day 2016, I brought Sophie to our regular vet for her “well visit”.  Over the years, she’s developed lumps, which were biopsied and diagnosed as benign “fatty tumors.”  This visit, she had a new lump in her mouth, but I suspected nothing serious.  

When the Dr saw the lump, he said curtly, in what I suspect was his sympathetic tone of voice, that this is likely oral melanoma, a fast-spreading, soft-tissue cancer, and she could have anywhere between 2 weeks and 2 months left to live.  But, “she’s old,” so it didn’t bother him much.  To which I replied with stunned silence, until I got to the checkout desk, where Kim (who’s worked at the vet Sophie’s whole life) and I cried together.   

By the way, Joe had earned his award trip to Hawaii, and we were taking the girls for the first time… leaving on April 8.  Yay, except our dog was dying.  Audrey raced in from college with her bag packed and thrilled to leave for paradise the next morning.  Only, when she got home, I answered the door with tears streaking my face and heaving sobs, because I just got the biopsy confirmation.  Her best friend and my furry daughter was dying.   Paradise was less so.  (2016 was filled with constant, simultaneous and contradictory highs and lows.)  

The vet did not have further treatment for Sophie, so we went to a specialist.  After x-raying Sophie’s lungs to check that the cancer had not yet spread, the doctor gave us treatment options: chemotherapy, a radiation pill….  When I asked what she would do for her pet, she said she would remove the facial bone on that side of her face then treat with chemotherapy.  When asked how long this would buy us, she approximated 6 months, including 6 weeks of treatment.  The dog looked at me with pleading eyes, “No, please.”  We left to go home to think about this painful, and painfully expensive surgery.  When Sophie was put under for her biopsy, she was disoriented for more than 24 hours.   She wandered in circles, panting, with a glazed look in her eyes.  It was terrible to watch, and I know she hated it.  

I emailed the specialist and asked for vitamin or supplement suggestions, while we considered our options.  Her response: don’t bother; that wouldn’t help. 

Since we really didn’t want to make her miserable with painful surgery and regular stressful rides to the vet for chemo, I decided to make her comfortable at home.  Her mouth was tender from where the tumor had been cut to biopsy, I began to soak her lamb and rice food in water to soften it.  And… we increased her walks.  If she had as little as a few days left, we were going to make them happy.  She got 2 to 3 walks per day, with few lousy weather exceptions.  

At this point, we were mourning her every day.  She was still with us, but we were crying as we were watching her die.  It took me about 6 weeks to just focus on appreciating every day with her.  It took Katherine until Christmas to really focus on the joy of each day. 

By June (yes! Way past our 2 weeks, but at the end of our given 2 months), she began to slow down and we could see the growth of the tumor from the outside.  I had gone to a Bentley’s specialty pet store to try healthy foods that were a softer consistency.   I bought her meat and vegetable food, without grains.  We watched what foods we gave her as treats: we no longer fed her anything crunchy, and we only gave her meats, eggs, and fish.   As her tumor grew, I found a different, healthy food from Bentley’s that was a perfect consistency.  I would cut the Vital FreshPet food into thin strips, then hand feed her from her left side.  It became more difficult for her to chew, but her appetite never wavered.  And, I’ll cook her tilapia a couple times most weeks. 

We took very few photos of her right side as the tumor grew, as we had no intention of remembering our furry girl as a sick, dying dog.  I managed to find a few pictures which show the growth.  

I definitely would have kept a detailed paper trail of Sophie’s journey, if I had known we’d have this miraculous extension of time. 

Sophie lost her hearing completely for about a month this summer.   The tumor was large, so I assume it was pressing on her eardrum.  She and I were equally freaked, yet calm about it.  I taught her some sign language, and we were both happy with our communication.  Like "All done", "Come", "Sit" and "Stay". One more lesson in Patience.  But, yes, her hearing came back.  Why, you ask?  I’m truly not sure.  

Around this time during the summer, I began to use essential oils: Frankincense (a healing oil) and Purification (a blend of Citronella, Lavandin, Lemongrass, Rosemary, Myrtle, and Tea Tree oils).  I dab a few drops behind her ears a couple times per day.  

I also began to give her Lemon.  I read that organic lemon kills cancer cells, so I tried squeezing it over her food or in her water.  She would have none of that.  I ended up buying empty gel capsules and squeezing lemon into 2-4 capsules per day.  

Since she swallowed the capsules well, I used them to hide the gross tasting pain pills and antibiotic.  She would swallow it easily with some roast beef lunch meat.  We did have our share of battles of the will and wit, and I was not always the champion.  There were days where she could eat the lunch meat and spit out the pills no matter how I distracted her. 

And, I did continue using the expensive antibiotic.  Some days she would smell as if infected, so I would give her a dose in the morning and a dose in the evening.  When she smelled better, I would go back to one dose per day.  Also, I tried less expensive antibiotics along the way, and each time, she would seem to have an infection flare.  

I didn’t use the pain pills for her at all, until summer, when she was obviously uncomfortable. 

One day when the tumor was quite large and she couldn’t open her mouth too wide, I was having trouble giving her the lemon pill.  I was trying to work it in her mouth, she was resisting, and she ended up biting the pill so the lemon leaked in her mouth.  She was really mad.  It must have burned her tumor, because she shook her head for a few minutes and glared at me.  I could hear her, “What could you possibly be thinking??? Are you trying to torture me??? What did I ever do to you???”  The next day, the tumor started changing.  I thought after all my efforts, I was going to be the one to end her life… with a lemon pill.  Ugh.  

We had a miserable month or so of smelly fluid draining from her mouth.  I literally kept the carpet cleaner in my room to spot clean almost every day.  I had towels laid over much of the carpeted floor and did that laundry every day.  It was gross.  But it was so hard to mind the extra work.  When I would clean, I would thank God for this extra day with my Girl.  

And then on Saturday, October 8, she began losing the fur on that side of her face at the point of the tumor.  By October 9, she had literal HOLES in her face, into what appeared to be her sinuses.  By October 10, she had 3 distinct holes in her face that grew each day until they joined together to create one large hole. First thing in the morning, she would shake her head and “sneeze” to clear the holes.  Uh, totally gross.  What does one do with that? 

By mid-October we had made arrangements with a friend’s vet (not our “oh, she’s old” vet) to euthanize her at our home, so she would be surrounded by love.  The vet encouraged us to wait to schedule the exact time for the day when she stopped enjoying her walks or stopped eating.   

I need to add here, that although the humans were sad for her every day, Sophie was happy to see us, cuddle, eat and walk.  She allowed us to clean her, she took her pills, and she rarely complained. 

As the tumor was draining, each day were noticeable changes in the size and shape of the lump.  At one point, her nostril had misshapen and bled for a few days.  We definitely felt that our efforts were hospice.  We still gave her lots of love and hugs.  And lemon.     

The beginning of November was super stinky.  Our social dog had to stay away from our guests, because she smelled like rotting flesh.  But she continued to be with her family. 

And, by the second week of November, she was able to open her mouth enough to grab her toys and play!  Can we take a minute to appreciate the fact that the dog who was deteriorating would now run for her ball after several months of not being able to open her mouth? 

Once her mouth opened well again, we re-started the Glucosamine Chondroitin pills for her joints.  

She also enjoys licking again.  She couldn’t open her mouth well enough to lick for several months.  We still need to watch what treats she gets, because she’s gotten food stuck in the hole, which seems to go directly into her mouth.  But, now she can have the occasional spoonful of peanut butter.  

I continue to feed her the meat/fruit/vegetable food, use the oils, give her the antibiotic and 2 pain pills at bedtime, glucosamine chondroitin for her joints, and walks.  

She’s slower than a year ago, but she’s happy.

I just wanted to share with you her journey of the last 365 days, since her imminently terminal diagnosis on April Fool’s Day 2016.  

Leslie Ambrose